first time

it was a very first time..
5 of us went to mac D at 4 in the morning.
is really really really memorable..
for so long i don't feel the warm of the house.
5 of us chat for whole night.
no gap..no fight..
i feel the unity.
we laughed so loudly even though already late night.
i think it was the first time 5 of us sit together and chat for so long.
i really like the atmosphere.
i really hope that was an endless night.
sorry for my immature.
i must upgrade myself,keep moving.
less complain, more effort!!
change the life!

once in a while

TAI SIN YEE....show you that TO ME is not that dull and blue!!
20111022
actually it supposed to be very bore..
but we successfully made it became so interesting..
almost half a day no electricity..
guess what i had did??
1.watched movie at lecturer hall
  LCD screen,so much larger than lappies's screen!
  air-cond was on too.
2.rented car and traveled to ipoh
  u know..alza is so nice to drive!!
  car should be returned at around 1.30am,consider very lucky!
  the fellow slept...so..drive in the midnight..
  went to mac D,kampar..chit chat all over night..
  and eventually returned the car at 8am..

BUT....now...
catch a COLD!! too bad..

Update

Can update me here?
What happened?
Why so pessimistic?
I am here for you
So long we don't have deep talk ady
From syane.ms.h2o

qusetion

angle play very important role in life..
sometimes people are optimistic,sometimes people are pessimistic.
we must learn to see thing from the best angle.
difference of 1 degree may change a lot of things.
change of your thought,change of your emotion,change of your life..

why must life put people in tough situation??
why must life full with difficulties, challenges, obstacles??
YOU have been blocking my way!!
i hate YOU..
can YOU just piss off??

lost

2 weeks gone.
ask myself...what have i learn?
is really TERRIFIC!! i can't give any answer,not even 1 alphabet
these subjects are really strange to me.
and i don't have any passion to be close to them.
when does miracle happen on me?


once again..drama..
drama presentation..feel so fret about it.
tonnes of project works are waving to me..
english, thinking skill, programming, moral......
long sighhhhhhhhhhhhh~~

pain

million of receptors are beneath the human skin.
we sense pain..we scare hurt..
at this moment, i strongly agree with mercy killing..
since death is part of the cycle, why don't just skip the pain?
die peacefully is actually kind of good thing.
imagine the pain,struggling before death..
i don't know how much of pain i can bear.
yea..is true weak-ER!

20110924

dont know when i only can accept my uni environment.
once again unwilling back to the campus.
have no idea over this.
how can i overcome? need time..how much time i need?
*ponder..maybe after 5 years..


telling myself..welcome to the reality.
dream is just dream.
line of dream ll never have intersection point with line of reality.
*unless u have enough hard work and LUCK.

time to learn lesson of satisfaction.
be contended with what i had.

chapter 1 of sem 2 foundation start soon.
all the best to all of us

please SCOLD ME

what have i done??!!
i didn't utilise my time well..keep wasting time..
eat..sleep..online..
maybe i shouldn't back to my home..
shut myself at the campus may better than now!
just feel like rushing back to my campus!

sorry..to dear and shan..
spoilt your mood..
i shouldn't be like this..
all i can say is just sorry..please do forgive me.

about back penang..finally i din follow.
my big aunt backed..
yes..im giving excuse so that i dont have to back penang.
im bad.i know.
i get shocked when i know my grandma was sent to old folk home.
started thinking about the complicated thing.

!!!!!
I MUST STUDY!
6 days from now!
please!! CHEAH ZI CHIAN!!
wake up!!!

20110820

finally..tests and drama come to an end..
dont know izit a happy ending??
they really suffer me for a long time!
i sacrificed a lots for the stu drama.
i waste time to practice,do props and waste money contact them!
please.. im not the group leader! i should do less!
luckily i get some compliments from the audiences!
hope it ll be all well!
tests~~
i have no right to complain..because i deserve that~~
i din really give effort in my tests!
sorry.

well..here to announce that my final ll be on 6th of sep till 11th of sep.
lecturers keep remind us that test is different from final.
we will know the *STANDARD*! it sounded uneasy!
please give me the strength to study during my study week.
DO NOT GET INFLUENCE by others.
think of back to the jungle earlier.
so that can concentrate!

dear..know that u unsatisfied with your result..
the environment is too different from before.
is quite difficult to adapt..u just need time.
but..please dont over push yourself..
must have appropriate rest and break.we are only HUMAN.
no one is perfect..
this sem ll be a hectic sem for u..
MUST3 take good care..anything happen, just tell me..
i ll always stand by..^^
touch leh?

really miss3 u..TT
want to tell u that is so difficult for me to find another friend like u!
u are irreplaceable..
i really wish that i can back right now.
i haven't fully accept the environment here.
maybe i should stop thinking.

the picture that day i want to send is this

20110807

is august!!a hectic month.
test..test..test..
is full with tests...
practice..practice..practice..
have to do my drama practice..
but im still wasting my time!!
arggggghhhhhhhhh!!

i start hating chemistry
very sorry..to pn.low..

the fasting month is really terrible.
those muslims must make all the races to have fasting with them..
the cafes all close..i can't hunt for any food in the morning..
starve..eat breads only..is really stupid!

i bought the ktm ticket to back KL already!!
it is on 25th aug..2040 ll reach..
another problem now..my dad ll move to port dickson to work..
no one can fetch me back home..TT
*try to seek help from wei nee..

u know pn. halimah?
her daughter is study at utp also..
i know her daughter..and yesterday i saw her..
but..actually i dont know pn.halimah!
hahaha

dear...still coughing??
take good care leh.ok?
dont stay too late..
*health**
miss you

20110731

one week gone..time flies so fast!
just feel that i never appreciate every second to study..
i believe that peer pressure really bring lots of effect to people.
u ll tend to be like the same with your gang,
while they ll do the same things also.
sometimes i doubt that people lost their original personalities..

i really don't know whether im on the right track or not.
im quite enjoy nowadays.
i play Iphone game, beat jerry's highscore..
i play ball in the midnight, have fun when watch 1 friend's action.
her action naturally entertains me.
i go to other's room talk and talk and talk..
really have fun!
PROBLEM now!!
i neglected my study!
im lack of self-control, lack of will-power,lack of determination..
CHEAH ZI CHIAN!! please awake!
U ARE A SCHOLAR, U HAVE BIG RESPONSIBILITY TO SCORE WELL!!
DON'T DISAPPOINT OTHERS!
really hope that i can have fun and at the same time can handle my studies.
yea..im greedy! i want both! can I?
i know is very3 difficult..sigh~~

fasting month is coming..
u know what? at stu UTP, no food sell in the morning and afternoon.
mean that only can eat at the night, my lunch ll be none or bread!
this bad news make my desire to have a car become stronger.
if i have car i could drive to outside to have my meals.
*much more delicious in the campus!
i have to do my study for 5 years, is not 5 months..

to dear..
i changed the name just simply play2 with my coursemate..
don't hap chou..i know dear won't..XD
sayang back yea..
about medi and pharmacy..
i think that medi will be more interesting than pharmacy,
but the risk is higher..
another thing is your emotion management must be very3 good.
ohyea..if u want to do medi,u want to be a speciality or ??
if u dare to challenge, just go ahead.
**study and work is totally different, think about it.
  YOUR FUTURE IS IN YOUR HAND

any decision u make, i ll always by your side.
know that your study became more and more difficult..
must ganbatte, sorry that i can't help u much.
i doubt my brain..undergoes retardation..
monday must be a very tiring day for u..
must have enough rest.promise?

have to off to do my work..
take care, miss you, love you.

DONT FORGET TO SMILE~

my poster!!

this is the 12 hours job!!!
XD

21110724

tensed2!!
everything is around the corner..
poster presentation 27th/28th/29th of july.
english test 1 28th/29th july
drama presentation 10th/11th/17th/18th july
physics test 2 12th aug
chemistry test2 13th aug
note: chem ll test on C6-C11,now i haven't clarify C6..TT
      i was requested to wear baju kurung for stu drama presentation..>< + TT + @@
      u know..my character is PRINCESS??!!!!
     
*who can save me?? #exhausted#
just done the mounting board for poster presentation.
the work started at3pm 23july and ended at 3am 24 july.
haha..only done 1 shower at 12am..XD
haven't write the script yet.faint~~

i'll be having drama practice..
the international students always no giving cooperation..25 marks!!
see how much the mark flies!!

lost my rhythm in this week..
i want it back..*beg

22th july..
fetched my friends to ktm station..
1 kancil with 5 fellow and 4 luagges.
the more terrible thing is my friends ktm departed at 3.10pm.
i started the journey at 2.50pm.
note: it actually need about 20-30 minutes to reach there.
1st time i speed till 130km/h,the car some more unstable..
really dangerous..hope next time no more.
*found that drive own car is the BEST.

after that went ipoh jusco with course-mates.
this trip not really nice..because got 2 friends are not that close.
reached utp at 10.00pm..still have 30 mins can use..
got 3 friends back room rest.
so ask another 2 friends to have long gai in utp!
haha..they really stu..didn't hold the soft drinks well.
the coke we da pau from MCD all spilled over the sofa..
test their driving..is very funny..^^
we still had another chit chat session until 4 something!!
got 1 friend said try dont't want sleep.
FAILED! she is the first who fainted on bed!
but it was the best record for them..@@
note : they usually sleep before 12..good baby


dear..next monday started your teaching??
everything still ok?
i think u already adapt the schedule..
if have time upload your latest thing at here.
the garden also can..
your dear become outdated from u.TT

u know what the time now??^^
is 4.46am ^^
morning!! so long didn't message this!
missssssssssssssssssssssss u and MORNING!

20100718

i cheated my friend!!
haha..but it was in good way.
because she will be 18 aged in this coming Wednesday.
1 something in the midnight asked her out to have cold drinks!
to let her room-mate (backed from rawang) set up all the things in room.
it was a great surprise to her when she opened the door!!
*memorable and funny!

I NEED CAR AND I WANT HAVE NEW PHONE!!
imagine how good im if i have a car.
can go out to have meals especially chinese cuisine.
can hang out with friends whenever i want.
can explore whole ipoh.
can travel.
i really desire to own 1 car..seriously..
when it ll come true?? * waiting~~
recently use my friend Iphone to play game..
very bad to say that i get addicted with Iphone game!
Iphone!!is my target now!

break record!
my chemistry can teach 1 whole chapter within 1 and a half hour!
so stu! i gain no chemistry knowledge in this week.
i doubt the ionic bonding between chemistry and i gonna downgrade to covalent bond.
sorry to PN.low and lewis baby..
#no catalyst#

dear..is not me don't want choi u in fb chat box.
because i thought i had messaged u via skype.
but due to the low connection in jungle, the messages sometimes are not send.
ok.maybe is my fault.then apologize here.
#sorry dear#
*gtalk is better app to chat in utp..
i added u into the contact.^^

i think u determined to work as tutor.
may be before i think so negatively, may be u can cope well and earn money at the same time..
all the best to dear.
sweet reminders:
-must get enough sleep
-drink enough H2O
-anything can just find me
 ( any2 thing also can )
-keep healthy and happy lifestyle



by the way..upload some quotes here^^

sista!!

must do like this know??
*imagine your stu face!^^

Sharing

hi..dear^^
*reply your post...
is actually all my problems.
i don't know how to express, i don't know how to start it off.
so don't doubt yourself.
u are certified as a great listener and adviser.
100% TRUE!!
sincerely..faithfully..


skip2~~
today went jogging with thara..
snap2 some pictures.
not that good looking, so i upload here..not in fb..

see!!this one so stu!!

haha..feel wanna share with you!
just have a glance of it..
maybe the last 2 pictures are better only!!
haha.
between..i want change my fb profile pic!!
upload the starbucks one..either at fb or here la.


next..
KL having serious haze problem??
today this jungle became so hazy.
here to remind drink more h2o~
must take good care of yourself~~

To You. by [syane.ms.h2o]

Don't feel guilt
Actually I learnt a lot of thing from you too
Just feel free to tell anything
If you feel like telling,don't hesitate to do so
Just like your caption of your bloggie
Free to tell
I just wanna drop you a msg here
To let you know
If everyone is not with you
there is shoulders for you to rely on
There is a dustbin for you to throw out
I don't know how I am able to help you
I don't know how powerful I am
I just know whenever I face problems
You,my sweet pumpkin will always be with me
Give me support
Help me to solve problems
Let me treat you badly
For that, I apologize
Btw,I would like to welcome you to do so
I don't mind you scolding me
I don't mind you crying in front of me
Maybe I'm not understanding enough
Maybe I'm just too careless
Maybe I will ignore what you actually need
I hope those recordings can help you
If you feel okay with it and I know it is sucks
My dear sweet pumpkin
No matter what happen
No matter how you are in front of others
Just remember
You don't have to act in front of me
You don't have to keep your feeling in front of me
We had overcome so much of problems before
It doesn't matter okay?

*OMG,sounds like couple tim..
Like what the great mind,Thara darlz said
Our relationship is mutualism
You take from me,I take from you
About the outing,it's okay
I'm just kidding about the time
Yet,I am proud to tell my friends that I hang out with you for so many hours
About scolding
Don't worry
My mum just show her "pretty face" to me only
My good mood make it invisible
So it doesn't matter
Okay.
I think I have been nagged a lot
Thanks for spending your time here to read my grandmother's story
See ya
Take care
<3

i need YOU

2 months + early in the year 2011,i leave..went to east malaysia for NS.
throughout the 2 months, im all well.
this time, i leave..still in west malaysia,
**BUT**
i miss YOU, i need YOU..
whithin this month, i really feel homesick.seriously i never feel this when i was ns-ing..
my dad said that because i went ns for fun, i feel stressless and enjoy.
while, now im under high pressure at tronoh.since im studying but not enjoy.
i have to care my studies, some more UTP has a lots of genius, most of them are scholars.
very competitive, actually sometimes i feel inferior.

BURST..is really BURST!! BURST into tears..
actually i dont want both of u to worry about me.
but if i didn't do so, i really don't know how i'll be now.
i depressed myself in the jungle such a long time.
YES!! i miss u, i need u!!
i miss your nagging.. your concern..
i feel kind of uneasy, the day i reached home.
seem something haven't do. it made me so tired, made me lost appetite.
ANS : i haven't cry in front of u..i haven't release ~~
sorry dad, ask u to bring me out to have my dinner at 2am..and i cried at the mamak stall..
sorry mom, disturb you to sleep, u awaked and listen to my complaints..
sometimes i really wish u were here for me.
i haven't fully adapt my life at the jungle. i feel emptiness sometimes..
but i'll try my best to cope with it!
truely, i feel better after RELEASE..
sorry, if i really scared u..

-hang out-
hmm..that day, i haven't RELEASE actually..
i think everything is ok.
i....a bit low energy~~but we still have a nice day..true.
sorry dear, i didn't tell u.because i myself don't know i was tired because of 'this'.
don't worry..now already overcome.
thanks for sacrifying your precious time..and the worst part is u get scolded..
*sorry
well,waiting for the next dating.
i want movie, i want haagon daz.
can i have it?

*thara, thanks for giving me the courage to BURST in front of my parents.
THANKS YOU.

reappear

uuuuttttttt..
such a long time didn't visit here..
well..now only noticed that the last post is about my decison to pursue A level.
BUT, right now..i am doing foundation in JUNGLE UTP!!
already 1 months ++ i stay at the green forest..
sigh..still have 4 years and 11 months to go.@@
really super duper miss my family, my home and .....
actually never thought of this~
the thing i expected is big circle of friends play and fool around together.
i thought i ll enjoy outstation study, i thought i ll be fine with everything....
expectations never come true~~
*less expectation, less disappointment**is true!!

just had 2 test..pre-calculus,physics..
my physic is freaking bad, the conclusion i can make is don't study at last minute, do have enough rest is important!haha. i ll just say it without do it..im not systematic style..random is the best~~
between, i really wonder why i always forget and neglect the equation of
a=v-u/t

4 marks flies~~byeeee..let it goes~~
besides, i really think that the coursework mark is too much..
really no longer in high school..the differences are obvious!!
and i realised i need guidances from people! im dependant to others~~
too bad!

good news!! im coming back home in next wednesday.
so many things want to do!!
gonna test unifi's speed!!
wait for me..my sweet home..

tired~~off to bed..
night!

the problem..

finally, i had decided to pursue A-level path.
heard that it would be TOUGH and CHALLENGING.
anyway, i ll try my best.
no matter the performance in education or my financial problem.
try my best and don't give up.
lets see how it would goes..

* when life puts u in tough situation,

   don't ask why me,

   just say try me..

recently, i had submitted my details to so many companies..
but i don't receive any reply from them.
it was so bad.
really sad and disappointed.
fine..i should plan for another..

i wonder about that why must i be borned in this kind of family background..
im not totally dislike it, but i dissatify with that.
my elder bro..
he ll only make my mother worry about him.
why don't he become more mature and acts like 21 years old man??
frustated,disappointed..
sometimes, i rather to stay in camp juara serian.
just shut off from everything, don't know anything from the outside world.
and i can gain peaceful,joyful and stresless life at there.
*consider idle life??haha..
whatever..
im already be borned..and in this kind of family background..
i can just accept.
life is still going on.

to pretty hot.

really thanks you that company me for quite a long time in camp.

did disturbed and interrupted u leh?

don't deny oo.

u really think too much de lo.

look, u waste your tears..

im fine at here.

haha.

*THANKS YOU

-2207-

To you

I believe those are fond memories for you

Keep in your deep heart core 

I believe they won't forget you since you are nice and noisy

as I mentioned in Garden of Tranquility before

In this 10 weeks

You experienced a lot of joyful activities

In this 10 weeks

I faced tonnes of homework and uncountable words in my notes

Test and test

Homework and homework

But I did have fun in between that

Btw

I will never forget

in this 10 weeks

There is a good audience who is willing to sacrifice her credits to call her pretty hot

Cried in the phone

Worked as a DJ in 102.6 FM

just for pretty hot's sweet pumpkin

hahaha

Sounds so complicated huh

hehe

About your family

I couldn't help much

The only thing I can do is

SUPPORT you!!!!!!

Any decision that you made

I will support and give you my advice when there is a need

My dearest initimate

It's glad to have you

Sincerely

Faithfully

Seriously

Really

Hahaha

Stay tune..xD

turning point

NS was a ever long DREAM i had in my life..
it started on 2nd jan and ended on13 mac.
it brought lots of things to me..
i get know to quite lots of friends,
i know how to work in team,
i become more independent,
i had joyful memory at there,although sometimes was boring..

on the 1st day,my phone was never stopped working.
i was strange to everyone,
just kept on sms,
thanks for your companies..
luckily,i knew a friend,mui yee.
she helped me a lots when i was in the airport.
really feel thankful to her..
it was really fate,we were in the same company!!

as time passed,i know more friends..
chinese,malay,iban,bidayuh....
i never expect that i would found intimate,sin yee in the camp.
we can share everything.
family,friends,education..
i exposed my  feeling to her,
we did teased each other without giving face,
she was my driver during cny,
and her mom treats me super nicely,
thanks for auntie's cooking and those snacks u bought to me.

this dream gave me lots of unforgetable memories..
-fill water in pail before shower and take into the shower room
-wake up in the midnight to charge phone
-wear punjabwi *sexy* attire during singing competition
-being caught by teacher in the class *felt slept in the class..haha
-massage each other
-wear the same shirt and pant for few days without washing
-naik pangkat with the sick condition
-polish the spike boat
-tidy up my layout and check others' layout
-digest snack on the bed
-lead ikrar in front of 370+ people
-have sport competition among comapny
-gossip about other
-have meal together with the BIG FAMILY
-morning exercise,play those games which need teamwork*interesting and funny
-caht withh those friends who are really funny and friendly
-sing country song and wira wirawati song in the condition of half conscious
-play rain water with those cutie friends
-sweep away those insects
-support our company with own way*i love it so much
-marching practice
-kayak and rakit
-kembara berhalangan
-rifle
-flying force
and etc...

now..the dream ended.
i can only recall those moments,but they ll never back.

it's the time for me to face the reality now.
have to face my result soon,
plan for my study,
find a part time job for 1 or 2 months.
the Problem in my family never leave,
IT be with us for such a long2 time.
sometimes i prefer to stay at camp,so that im stressless.
anyhow,still have to face it
*TOUGH*



-0254-

Hi..XD

hehe.
now only i reply yea..
wait till your neck long jor leh??

never think that u ll post and kacau my blog at here.
i thought im gonna to neglect this URL.
and no one ll check for it..
thanks for wasting your time to renovate it ar.
i don't think i ll change it.
unless i really fall in love with blogging..
haha

u were countdown-ing for the days i return leh..
i understand la.
u misssssss me so much ma.

here to announce:
I'M BACK!!


-1935-
                                                                                      

Halo..

I'm the first one who started blogging in this blog

Cool right?

See

I helped you to renovate ady

Nice or not?

2 weeks time you will be back

Then I will tell you

Welcome to Kuala Lumpur

=)

Have a nice time

260211

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